Well guys, here’s the follow up to my first nofap article.
Looking back, I realize now that first article is great for RECOVERING from a porn addiction, not necessarily overcoming one. Let’s change that.
Porn addiction just isn’t the same as addiction to nicotine, alcohol or other drugs. These addictions are all foreign substances that your body doesn’t produce naturally and isn’t reliant on for nutrition. Yes, they’re addictive, but because they’re foreign substances, your body has an easier time overcoming the need for them.
Porn addiction isn’t the same because it’s influenced by your sex drive. Sure, you do develop a drug like dependency on it, but your natural desire for sex also fuels it.
You’ve unintentionally trained your mind to associate porn and beating off to sex. So, overcoming porn addiction requires, to some extent, giving up sex. That’s something most guys, young guys especially, are unwilling to do.
If you’ve never had sex, then porn is basically the only sexual experience you have. That makes it even more difficult to quit.
Guys who’ve been in relationships, are currently in a relationship, and/or have had sex, have other sexual experiences. They know firsthand that giving up porn and masturbation means they’re only giving up one aspect of sex. But for us, giving up porn and masturbation is pretty much giving up sex. It’s not enough to know logically that it isn’t the case. Subconsciously, that’s what your mind believes.
All men, young men especially, have the instinct to find a mate and have descendants. It’s a natural instinct that’s been honed and ingrained through millions of years of evolution. How could you even think about not obeying it?!
Porn may be the most insidious addiction to afflict mankind. There are countless reports of former alcoholics and drug addicts doing Nofap, and they all say that porn addiction was way harder to beat than those other drugs.
Your sex drive, one of the most fundamental aspects of manhood and a source of potent energy, drive and inspiration, is ultimately turned against you.
The Nofap journey may be one of the hardest things you’ll ever do. But the harder the path, the greater the rewards of success. The countless accounts of benefits like increased motivation, non-existent anxiety, stronger emotional control, greater physical strength and stamina, sharper focus, better memory, are all true.
And imagine what else it’ll do for you moving forward. Every obstacle or challenge you face next, you’ll face them armed with the knowledge that you’ve won control over yourself and your life from this addiction. You’ve successfully done one of the hardest things you may ever have to do.
This tip kills two birds with one stone.
As a porn addict, you’re probably not comfortable talking to girls. This tip puts you in uncomfortable situations. From my experience, regularly being in uncomfortable situations that require me to act and conduct myself in a certain way, along with a risk of embarrassment and rejection, keeps me from jacking it. I unconsciously know that I need to be at my absolute best, and relapsing will flush my vitality, strength, and intellect down the crapper.
Being in uncomfortable situations more will greatly aid in not fucking up on Nofap and help you on the road to recovery. I wrote another blog post about socializing for introverts, where I talk about intentionally putting yourself in uncomfortable situations to teach yourself to get used to them, and a great mindset to have whenever you feel nervous or anxious.
If day in and day out you’re sitting alone in your room relinquishing your life force into tissues while watching glorified prostitutes debase themselves on camera, the odds that you’ll get your dick wet aren’t so high. If you talk to girls regularly, there’s a chance one of them will want to go out with you. Then, there’s a chance you two will start going out regularly and enter a relationship together. That VASTLY increases the chances that you’ll get to forge the moaning statue.
And as we’ve previously covered, having more non-porn/masturbation sexual experiences will make Nofap easier.
The most important thing is to stop putting so much pressure on yourself. Don’t worry about asking her out on a date or getting her number at first. JUST TALK TO HER. THAT’S ALL YOU HAVE TO DO. It could be as innocuous as asking a girl what time it is, asking her for directions to some place, or asking for high fives from random girls you walk past.
So, porn addiction is really hard to give up, right? Even more so than other addictions. We’ve covered that. So, your mindset going into Nofap has to be like your going off to war.
Overcoming porn addiction is kind of like a war, a war with yourself. That’s exactly how you should approach it. Or better yet, imagine that your inner struggle with porn addiction is like Batman fighting the Joker. You’re Batman, your porn addiction is the Joker. A relapse is the Joker winning. Every time you get urges, the Joker escaped from Arkham Asylum again and is wreaking havoc on Gotham. By resisting a relapse, Batman (you) beats the Joker (your porn addiction) again.
If you’re a Superman fan, think of it as Superman (you) versus Darkseid/Doomsday (your porn addiction), and you’re fighting to save Earth. A relapse means you lose, and Darkseid conquers the planet and enslaves humanity. Resisting the relapse means you save the day, but Darkseid will be back again some day, so you need to stay ready.
Check out my other blog post on internet detoxification.
You should cut down on internet time. This definitely includes YouTube, Netflix, Hulu, and all social media sites like Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Snapchat, etc. I personally just check my email a few times on days that I’m doing an internet detox.
There’s two main reasons why you should do this. First, there’s a lot of shit out there that’ll make it more likely that you’ll relapse. YouTube videos often have sexually provocative thumbnail images as click bait. A lot of internet advertisements have under-dressed women in them.
Second, prolonged time watching TV, YouTube, or Netflix/Hulu and prolonged time using social media has a profound affect on your brain. These kinds of activities induce alpha brain waves, which corresponds to a relaxed state of low intensity brain activity. Scientific studies have proven this to be true. The problem? Your willpower, awareness, and mindfulness is dulled in this state. This is useful for advertisers, since you’re much more likely to want to buy products that you see advertisements for.
TV, and Netflix/Hulu/YouTube, literally rots your brain.
For a lot of you, THIS may be the key reason you’re unable to get a decent streak going. You’re unknowingly dulling your mind with hours of television, YouTube, Netflix, and social media, reducing your ability to resist and overcome urges.
As I said in my internet detoxification blog post, just 3 days out of the week with no internet is enough. Definitely feel free to go more than that though.
Now that you’re off the internet, you’ve probably got a lot more time on your hands. So…
No shit, right? Well, just bear with me.
I recommend that you seek hobbies that you have always wanted to do, but never did because of your porn addiction. Hobbies that you used to do as a kid before porn and masturbation entered your life also work. This is something I also recommended in my other Nofap blog post.
The hobbies should require concentration and effort. So, mindlessly watching TV or Netflix doesn’t count. Anything related to art, like painting, graphic design, counts. Learning to play an instrument, and anything music-related, counts. Learning to dance counts. Lifting weights definitely counts. You get the idea.
For me, I used to love reading books as a kid, but I stopped around age 13 when porn and masturbation entered my life. Starting the habit back up again was how I made it to a 4 month Nofap streak.
Building on this, it’s even better to figure out what you want to do with your life, especially if you’re still young. Nofap is great, but you should make good use of the energy, focus, motivation, and drive.
I highly recommend reading Mastery, by Robert Greene. It’s the only true comprehensive book on how to figure out what you want to do with your life, and how to learn to do it. It’s one of the very few books I’ve read that I consider truly life-changing. High schools all throughout the country should make this book required reading for its students. And I’m all but making it required reading for guys on Nofap.
One last thing you should keep in mind once you finish your first 90 days and beyond:
Just because you get to 90 or more days of no porn and masturbation doesn’t mean you can get complacent. The neural pathways in your brain that were developed through years of jacking off to pixelated prostitutes can become severely weakened, and neural pathways that find other activities enjoyable and fulfilling can become strengthened. But, those porn neural pathways will never completely go away.
Don’t get me wrong. It gets infinitely easier. But, you just have to keep in mind that you can always fall back into old, bad habits. A former fat person who loses weight can always fall back into old habits and gain the weight back. Always stay vigilant.
All right, that’s it.
Nofap isn’t like most other addictions. Your sex drive, a source of potent energy, drive and inspiration, becomes your enemy. And it’s even harder if porn is the only sexual experience you have. It isn’t enough to know logically that porn isn’t the same as real sex. Your subconscious mind thinks you’re completely giving up sex, and it’ll fight you every step of the way on this journey.
Some more tips to help include talking to girls more, imagining this struggle as a huge epic battle or war, spending less time on the internet, and doing more mentally engaging hobbies.
Leave a comment down below with your thoughts, and share this article with anyone else you know whose doing Nofap.
All the best,